The power of later part 2

I wasn’t the same person two days ago. lol

Yesterday I still felt the strange bolt within which motivated me to play video games all day. Then I started to worry. I worry because the shrink told me I was normal. Tomorrow I have got a job interview and I haven’t prepared yet. I also remembered ten years ago about my mood monitoring project. I quit because I forgot my twitter password lol. So to think that I am normally forgetful and short attention spanned, do i need to pressure myself again? Am I still in the game? Yep, i still remember the keywords. I have got a new motivation though, It’s becoming an android developer. I skimmed through the how’s of this matter. I havent written a list on what to do. Instead i wrote a couple of paragraphs on my series and drew some characters and here, blogging. Lol.

Sometimes the thought of my financially successful friends cross my mind yet here I am starting all over again. Lol. But there isnt really a timeline for success. I do not know and do not care about how they live. All i know is every experience I had, whether good or bad, is something that is worth living. Strange isn’t it?

I think im serious about the power of later. Lol. I am still motivated. I always remember that I only have to compete with myself, not with other people. I also need to stop worrying because i dont worry. Hahahahaha! There’s no rush. Remember to live life kindly, says the lazy person who is writing this. Lol.

7th of may 2021 update. I got hired in a hospital I have applied for. To think that I aced an interview because of lying quite a bit (well fyi i only escaped because the submission of requirements gives me a headache and i dunno where to start so i need to calm myself. Paperworks and deadlines are my weakness. My sister is currently working on her laptop and i noticed that she is annoyed with me. Well i have three days to finish all the requirements. I thought of the times i have applied and i passed through them magically. But right now seeing the sofa full of bags and big envelopes and five pieces of wallets made my way to liht a cigarette and blog instead.

One reason i dont reveal my identity online because this is my unknown realm

A lot of people are proud to reveal their identities online. With links thru their facebook account, linkedin, instagram and the like.

But for a pretentious person like me id like to keep my identity a secret. When i said i lied quite a bit because you cant tell the interviewer that i like to daydream a lot and procrastinate at work so i said the opposite. Now the challenge is make it a game again. To pretend that i am a focused person and hardworking is my middle name lol. I even flunked the test but they still hired me. Why? Because I am a good talker and I know how personality tests work (i have answered almost all kinds of mbti you can ever find online except the paid ones of course lol) so this game could be dreadful for me. But i will do my best at work and i just remembered what i read about ten yrs ago: people who love the color orange are great pretenders. Another inspiration because i loved orange since i was a kid.

These requirements are a big challenge for me. And i envy most people who dont panic and finish them like a piece of cake. It is very difficult. I also got lost a lot on getting back to my interview place. I felt that im a leaking pretentious applicant lol.

I would also like to discuss about my asrs test. But again this is a challenge for me. I would never access my blog until i finish all my requirements. Oh God help me. And thanks to those who find my blog interesting. My mind is in a rumble i dont know what was my topic on the first paragraph. All i know is i left it and came back now.

I. Can. Do. This.

The law of distraction.

This is the second part of the diary of a undiagnosed ADHD

There is so many things running in my head since morning and I felt that strange bolt of energy within. In most cases I compare the energy with lust. The lust for doing something which involves creativity such as writing, drawing or anything that has to do with art.

This is a quick post though, because I committed a videocall with friends at 3 pm. And i’ve got to wash my dog and give him medications too. I also have to take a bath after bathing my dog. And i have to do these in less than an hour. SOUNDS GREAT isn’t it?

I remembered that I work best under pressure. The mild form of anxiety gives me focus on what I do. And contrary to the title, these distractions would be very helpful in finishing my tasks. I already talked to a shrink regarding my mental health issues. And found out that I dont have any forms of depression nor bipolar disorder. I also submitted a copy of my Asrs test. Whatever you call it.

This morning i applied for a job, followed up my last pay in my previous work and helped a little in preparing our lunch. So i didnt review for my test today. Because my key words are money and job.

My shrink also adviced me to write down what I want to do. And think about it because I tend to do things with impulse. So it’s 2:26 and I had to pause writing. I purposely delay finishing my blog post because I want to write clearly about what I want to talk about.

2:56 P.M. I am not used to documenting what I do in details but because it has a purpose, it wouldn’t hurt that much lol. I have read an article on totally add and got into the hype. As well as my shrink said, i dont have to conform to what other people do when they review. I like games. Especially videogames. So why not turn something boring into something fun. More of like challenging yourself in doing a simple task. Of course there are distractions ahead and the challenge is do not let the distractions distract you. While i was bathing my pet, since i had to leave the medicated shampoo for ten minutes and got the chance to buy some cigarettes and a chocolate biscuit I kinda missed eating. The rule is, if ten minutes doing nothings bores you, then you can do something else by minding the time.

I am not usually like this. But i was just motivated because of the strange energy bolt i am feeling. I tend to delay things especially when it’s important. But right now I am just rewiring my brain by doing something just like when I am playing videogames. AND the relief that I am normal helped too. I am just taking advantage of the energy I have got.

Most tasks for me are quite boring. So the key is to make things interesting. Whether shallow or deep. Like having a job, is kinda boring for me. So what I think about is another keyword. LAPTOP. having a laptop is having power. Power to get another job, and with the right specs I could start doing what I love or what I might love in the long run. If i get a job then I could buy a laptop. And install games or theme maker– taking advantage of technology with a high speed internet lol. How I wish today was like everyday!

I would also like to focus on writing clearly. It takes time but by practising a lot who knows I might write soon a straight to the point article or post. Lol.

Another tip to myself is challenging myself with another game. This sounds creepy but I like to pretend that I will die in 5 years and I have to be rich before I die. lol. I act with impulse So I added a little pressure. (Because i didnt say i will die tomorrow lol). Of course theres this system in my head (sorry I havent written it down. But I am relying with keywords which I recite to remember.

To earn money is first to have a job. And I also had to test myself by applying what I have read in an online class about money management. It’s tough though. But I am in a roleplaying game. I pretend that I want to become rich. And since I love playing games I am in! LOL. sounds crazy but it is more appealing than the reality that I am close to midlife crisis and still havent got a property lol.

We have different strategies in approaching life’s struggles so I am not saying my strategies will apply to all, maybe for some as silly as me. If it doesn’t work then Ill have to find another strategy– which I consider another game. Of course I have to reward myself for the good outcome. And in order to to that I have tl remind myself of the key word: job. lol

P.s. my videocall conference has been moved to 4:30. So i have plenty of time to prepare! And i even finished a post! So congratulations to me!

And the title says distraction. Well life is full of distractions. I admit i forgot something I wish to mention. Because as I write I am kind of distracted myself. But this distraction is also a form of review. Remember that distractions are related to functions, you just have to keep your mind open and continue your exploration. I dont know who said that. Maybe it was me! 😆