nope, i haven’t read the world according to seamus harper. i dont have a single idea whether it’s a book or a series. lol. the quote just got into me. i have known that quote for a few years and that’s what i’m feeling. i applied for an online job as a content writer. and i dismissed my application. why? because they are asking me about my skills as a writer and i couldn’t even present my website full of loser posts. have you ever felt being born at the wrong time? if someone wants their body parts change thru surgery, well i guess i want to change my date of birth because i sometimes feel that i should have been born in the time of Noah. lol. okay, it all ends with a question of faith. where is my faith. it’s here. with me. never giving up when everyone has turned their back against you. in times you feel incompetent and useless. non-functional and dumb. i kind of understand drug addicts and terrorists, because they feel the world is a hopeless place they either destroy the world, or themselves. hey, im not an addict or a terrorist. lol. i dont even know how to make bombs. i haven’t even touched a gun. the only thing i have is my faith and my mind.–which i dont want to lose. lol. i guess i would just do my daily chores to be at least productive. is love the answer? maybe yes. love for family. so i guess i wouldn’t be picky with a job. i dunno. i don’t want anything. i suggest my followers to unfollow me. because this blog is full of hopelessness and self-loathing. lol. next time i’ll post something beautiful. i dont need self help books. i just need to think this over. i am an artist and i dont have a muse. lololololololol. a part of me says that i need to join the group of practical people and live in the ugly reality. i hate what the world has become. do i have the capability to change it? i need to change myself first. but i have no idea about the first step. i’m losing interest with what i see.
fast forward to future 