“Knock, knock/Who’s there?/Reality./Reality who?

i thought my mbti fever has subsided. well, no. i’ve been more interested in it because i t is my main tool in assessing human behavior. wtf? i think i have taken different versions for more than 20 times. (i actually lost count, that’s only estimation, duh lol) and while digging deeper into the descriptions i refuse to believe that i am an intp. so i tried answering cognitive functions tests:

i first dissected the descriptions from a thoughtcatalog article. it comes up when you search for a certain type confusion. (bravo for the seo!) my results were Ti Ni Fi Si. an intp should have a se instead.

second, i tried another cognitive functions test. it involved a little math that didn’t hurt. (arithmetic and percentage) and i have gotten more confused because My results (according to the percentage were Ni Ti Fi Ne) there. two active Intuitive dominant functions. of course i tried to compare the output with different orders of the dominant functions of the 16 types. the closest was an infj yet still it’s not. so i decided to use the xy axis to plot the possible answer. and compared it with the sequence of the output percentage so i had to do little arrangements. well im not good in math. i admit. it’s not a guessing thing. but i just have this strange problem solving skill which i can never explain to someone. but i have relied in it a couple of times. during math tests back in high school, college, i got the results right regardless of the knowledge of an equation. (some professors might have accused me of cheating. because i didnt write the step by step solution on how i have come up with the answer. lol). so i have two possible verdicts on the MBTI. it’s either there could be more possible types. (not only 16). Because if you would base  mainly on the basic test, it would categorize you as one of the 16 types. but like me, it didn’t fit one of the 16 types if i used the cognitive functions test. OR, i am plainly dumb in  english and in  understanding the cognitive function questions. lolololololol. i have a high respect for those who have started and developed this MBTI thing and you cannot just say: Sirs and Madams, i think you would have to add another categories for each type. for example. an intp could not only be a Ti Ne Si Fe. but could be a Ti Ni SI Fi. but since i am just a jobless occasionally obsessed nobody without the knowledge of its algorithms. i have nothing to back up my suggestions. lol. i am just waiting for myself to lose interest in mbti.my infj sister thinks i lost myself in this mbti thing.

third, i answered the old JUngian test and my type was: unkown. hahahahahahaha. Well, if i would base on mbti descriptions, i could be an intp. because im currently interested in mbti (i have familiarized myself with the other types– the types of people who are important to me. and some interesting test subjects who are less important to me). it’s better and way different than astrology. i do not regret studying astrology (it’s different from horoscopes). i don’t predict what will happen to an aries tomorrow. i just know the descriptions of an aries personality. lol) but hey, astrology is still interesting though. i guess i believe everything is connected. i verbalized my love for science and my wish to work in the field of physics, and my esfp brother just said, there are things that are certainly impossible to reach. i  thank my brother for the very wonderful support. lol. almost everything interests me. but not the game of thrones hype. lol. i have heard it’s a very nice series and almost everyone have gotten hooked to it. but not me. i dont know. i have reasons. 1.) slow internet connection. i could not download episodes. 2. i could not sit for an hour long watching something. (in case someone gave me copies of it|) i prefer 20 minute sitcoms such as the big bang theory. 3.) based on what i heard about GOT it has a little resemblance on my novel LOL but i dont see it as a threat. WHOA.  4.)i am busy. before someone will call me trying hard to be a genius/ frustrated scientist because of my interests. yeah, i read about theory of relativity and string theory in my leisure time. okay, i take it back. nobody knows i read them. because i read via phone. and nobody checks what im currently reading lol. another thing that interests me is religious beliefs. well i have an INTJ iFriend. did i just use iFriend? yes. an ifriend is someone you met via internet and the i could also mean interesting friend/ or same interest friend. LOL. he’s intelligent and have a great reasoning skills.

okay. back to reality. this monster keeps on knocking  at my door. i just peer thru the window and didnt notice anyone in there. because reality isn’t a person, i guess. i couldnt tell my loved ones that im happy to be with what i do at the moment. being an unproductive citizen and daughter in terms of financial aspects. LOL. again, i don’t know. Maybe because of the boring options on jobs. and if ever i landed a job it would only mean i just got in there out of luck and curiosity. i feel sad actually. facing the future. im just holding on to interesting things that will happen along the way. such as a new joke from a new co worker. hahahahahahaha. well again, i dont know. I am not a bad person but i just dont really feel in sync with reality. i will get a job someday. that’s what i said three months ago. lol. i feel sorry for my family while they feel sorry for me. hahahahahaha. i have to think of the time when reality was quite okay. by the way i used reality as a representation of what is really going on externally. the boring norm, and not what’s going on inside my head. because to some, reality is a perception of one’s own. a person with schizophrenia has a different reality perception same as those who are high on drugs. LOL. anyways. good luck to me. and if reality is equivalent as possibility, i might turn into an object one day, metaphorically.

a movie/self review

I am about to start writing on my series which is on its third season. I made a little note  about the details of my characters’ super powers. because it is intended to be a video game. but here i am, blogging. WHy? Simple. I am distracted. lol. Yesterday I was invited by my friend to watch suicide squad. since it was his treat, i didn’t mind what are we going to watch. lol. yet i still suggested before to try a local film. SO he commented that i should be a movie buff and watch marvel stuff etc because guys love movies. Alright, at first i had no interest in the movie but after watching it, it seemed like i was more drawn to the movie than my friend. I wanted to discuss the effects and the characters’ situation but he didn’t give me go signal based on how he reacted. SO i just kept the comments inside my mind. Therefore, i have plenty of reasons to love suicide squad. Mind you, i rarely post something earthy. i dont know the exact word for it. Mainstream? things which normal people love. lol. I am usually focused on my thoughts, my works, my broken self lol. Yeah but i loved the movie and thank him for the opportunity. i didnt say thanks to him by the way lol. First, the enchantress’ powers looked like one of my villain’s SUPER attack. but way different in color, radius and effects. lol. and i love villains by the way. I was controlling myself from crying while watching (not the emotional dialogues) i dunno. the effects? the fight scenes? lol. maybe because i feel like a villain myself (but i am a good citizen. a good jobless citizen) And, one of my interests before watching the movie is, if, someone can surpass Health Ledger’s portrayal of the JOker. And so, Jared Leto did a very good job. HANDS DOWN! he’s my favourite joker now. LOL. I am just happy i got the chance to watch something that inspired me to do better in writing my series. i won’t deny that my heart and mind is really into creating video games.I mean it sounds impossible. But come on. nothing is impossible as long as you don’t stop working hard to achieve it. So maybe i should explore the physical world to get ideas, to compare etc, because the field i have chosen is user- interface related. lol. it involves graphics. oh dear. it just feels weird a movie has caught my interest.

and since my favourite topic is myself, lol. I realized that being an INTP (yup i still have this MBTI Hangover) and based on personal observation and comments from people i know, that i really dont pay attention to my outward appearance. im not ugly, but i am not appealing anymore (unlike ten yrs ago lol). i also miss people’s feelings. i miss the fun as well. because i am only focused on my stories. and my thoughts. I will give you an example about how lost i am when i’m in my thoughts. The Philippines is a tropical country right? Ive lived in a cold country for five years and when i got home i didn’t mind the scorching heat. Because i was busy thinking. LOL. when i stopped thinking i felt the sun’s rays and then i wondered what’s the temperature in degrees? lol. i am a good observer but i really do get lost in my thoughts. Anyways, i also have pondered about not getting married or having a family. I have reasons (might as well overthinking results). i might turn my kids into monsters. lol. I had difficulty in dealing with people when i was young (and yup my family had no idea about this) i might become a dictator and push my kids to pursue science and math. and it wont hurt to do some sports. lolololol. enough of that. at the moment i am not interested in love. the so called one great love? nahh. im in love with what i do. writing. and i think i have a little crush on Jared leto. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. so if i have the time, i am going to watch some of his movies. to see if i really have a crush on him. because if i dont find him amusing in his other roles, it means i have a crush on Joker. lol.

P.S. i saw on Youtube that he is possibly an INTJ lol.