Testing the waters

So im writing again via phone. Another evidence that i couldn’t contain my current standing in the game of life lol. Sometimes i feel guilty for sharing my blog to someone i know because they might accuse me of being a weakling or being ungrateful. I dont give a fuck anyways. This is my trash bin and it’s obviously metaphorical. I couldn’t write via laptop because our computer is in the living room, it feels uncomfortable writing something even if they dont look at what i am doing. That’s another reason why i couldn’t continue my next episode. 

Im just here to tackle about actions and consequences. You enter a situation, and you are aware of what’s gonna happen. There’s a bonus: that’s when you dont expect something which will happen. I usually predict things as i enter a new setting. So it happened. Job wants me to conform. And i dont want to. Lol. I havent googled the exact meaning of conformity. But i think im on the right track lol. I know the solution: try to conform even if it clashes with your principles. I have written this before. I was just reminded again because i didnt conform to them. Lol. Now another solution is: play pretend. And find something that im gonna think about to shun away the real issue. That’s what i did. Or that’s what i always do. Don’t get me wrong. I am very good, at least in what i do, except the sales shit. Now im thinking what’s it like if im gonna be a parent. Maybe i’ll conform to them just to feed little mouths. A perfect excuse for someone who needed escape, and a perfect example of hard work and inspiration for real parents. 

Im not being smug here. Actually i feel bad for not having the kind of thinking most people have. Conforming to society, going with the flow, not thinking of harming others or violating one’s principles. 

So this post is an evidence that there’s an event in my life (actually the whole blog) that i might just laugh about someday. So the solution i have thought is to see a clairvoyant. My actual reason is to TEST his ability. I predict the future too. I am very curious about his talents. If ever he says something bad or i dont like, well or he might not show up due to a certain incident, or we wont show up because something happened. I cant help but imagine things: everything that could possibly happen- this, my friend, i believe, is a Ne- dominant trait. Lol. But it kinda excites me. It’s something i look forward to— some reason to at least bear the stress my work is causing me. 

I am also thinking that my dream job is still away. But not as far as from ten years ago. Still, a small progress is still a progress. The thing is, im going to unravel the mystery of the clairvoyant with Rigel. Who happened to be interested in knowing the future. That’s why im also anxious about what will happen. I think we’re the same. To be together in one place is inevitable. We do things for a purpose. I dont think this is an excuse just to be with his company. I think he became a medium on extracting what i needed to know to fight in my own game of life. I mean a medium could be anyone. But it happened to be him. No emotions involved. Just plain purpose. I told you i dont let emotions win. It’s just a bonus i happen to be with someone whom im comfortable with. But i still find it strange. But if being with him has a price, i wouldn’t thank him (i did) but i shouldve thanked his purpose. Same with me. I had a purpose seeing him. I needed data for my ultimate dream. Imagine what would happen in the future. If i reached my ultimate dream, maybe he’s married then with kids. I don’t know. Still testing the waters like watching his every move for me to dismiss what i have concluded in my past posts. 

Exciting isn’t it? We’ll see what happens. 

Holy Week (when the demons’ powers are strongly elavated)

Hiya! Just updating this blog to let you know that I’m still alive. Lol. I kinda have mixed emotions. I used to fear holy week when i was a student. Because i could feel the power of the underworld dominating–inside my mind. Well i have found the remedies to it, actually: just work on holidays. But since im a student again, i am looking forward to an epic battle between me and the devil. Lolololololol. Buuuut, i have my powers now. Physical powers to describe them. Gadgets: phone, nintendo, ps vita, laptop to combat the emptiness and the boredom where the devil likes to lurk. Hahahahahahaha. I dont wanna state all my plans regarding studying because i failed two or more of my IT subjects. Im taking it easy. I dont have plans stressing myself.

 

And i was quite flattered when i checked my notifications: random strangers liked my posts. Lol. Maybe because they could relate or simply they were bored and laughed a little at my silly posts. Anyways, thanks people. The last time i wrote was about the guy i sort of like. Yeah. Bad news is i still like him. In fact he’s my ideal man. Lol. Sometimes i wonder if it ever occured to him. That some weirdo, talentless underachiever who laughs like its doomsday has a crush on him. 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Hahahahaha. I feel funny. You know im not a teen ager anymore. But to quote from my old blog “it feels like i have won the lottery somehere outside the universe” when he talks to me. Crap. I am just enjoying the feeling. I feel happy and embarrassed at the same time while i am typing these words. Lolololololol. Too bad i haven’t heard a word from him. He’s also not a facebook person so i have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. Lol. Maybe chilling with his family. Im not sure if he’s a catholic. Probably because he came from a catholic school. Lol. Anyways,  i have this strange feeling again that something’s gonna happen. Something nice to be exact. Im not expecting anything from my ideal man. Maybe i’ll just finish episode 37 and it would be epic. Epic-sode! Lol i kinda missed writing. I like my story because it relates to me. All of the characters actually relate to me. To describe the first three characters or protagonists: the first one is highly determined because it’s his dream to become an sw. Go figure out what’s an sw. Lol. But he lacks skills and is very behind in his studies. I just realized (though i have written the concept first before i enrolled at uni lol) that were very similar. That’s why i enrolled at this uni to become GD which is my ultimate dream. Hahahahaha! The next character is someone who has talents and abilities but is to lazy to give effort so he doesnt take his course seriously. He’s busy on ther things such as escaping. Hahaha. I relate to his laziness and tactics but i think he’s more talented than me. Lol. The third character is highly motivated because she thinks she will find love at school. Its just soooo me. Motivated to come to school early because of ideal man. 😂😂😂. OMG. Lol. Well for both parties, i think i have more control over my story than my life. Hahahahaha. Or if coincidentally whatever i write on my story will eventually happen in real life, wellthanks man! Hahahaha! I miss IM soooo bad i even pray for him to come into my dreams! Hahahahah! How can he be so blind! I think we could build a strong empire together!!!!! Hahahahaha! Im waiting for my feelings to fade. Because there are certain factors that are pi. Constant i mean. There’s status, well status isnt constant. Okay. Age. Buwahahahahahaha! But i think he’s kainda mature and we have the same likes? And his words— i couldnt believe the sweetest sentence i have ever heard– came from him. My greatest motivations or words of wisdom before i met him well, came from me.. Then from dad then from my bestest best friend. But now, he had no idea he said the words (whether he means it or not) which fueled the flame in my heart enough for me to fight for a lifetime. NAKS! Giataaaaay! I have close friends at school. But they never said that to me. Lol.  Anyways because im motivated today i think i will finish episode 37. And i have to thank my ideal man for that. Thank him for reminding me that im on the right track.