Hello! First of all, i didn’t bother touching my laptop today meaning i didn’t edit my resume. Hahahahahaha! I woke up around ten am. Lololololololol. So there. I hate sleeping late but i just can’t sleep! Because i need to collect 6 million elixir to upgrade my giant. Hahahaha! I know coc is not that popular anymore. Because of clash royale. I dunno, im not addicted to coc anymore. It’s just that i’m close to getting that 6m elixir. I used to be a coc addict. But the fact i managed to have time for it even if i was super busy — it’s called love. Hahahahaha! When coc was very popular ive read strange news about it. Kesho it’s a game made by the illuminati and had symbols of the devil etc. It destroys relationships, (well that’s quite true) becuse its addictive. / addicting? Lol. But for me i have learned a lot from coc. Coc is like life. It’s difficult to sustain it if you dont have enough money. Lolololololol. I never used money just to upgrade quickly. So when playing coc you have to be patient. Of course there are short cuts when u want to upgrade quickly but u need to use gems or other app cheats. But i must say that i am proud of where i am now at coc lol. See? Its like life! You need to take things slowly. Especially when u have no money. Lol. Am i making sense. I dont think so. Hahahahahaha! In every town hall level you become stronger because you get the chance to upgrade your troops. Just like getting credentials to find your perfect opponent– a job! Hahahaha! You also need to be cool and cooperate with other people or your clan in order to win wars. Just like in real life. I dont know why other people dont understand the beauty of video games. (Btw this is playable only on phones and pc) but its still a game. I dont know if im the only one who thinks you can learn from coc. Maybe because im nuts. Defending my time wasting schemes looting instead of applying for jobs. Lol. Anyways, back to my fave topic, myself lol. I have created so many online accounts with different identities. Because i dont want to be found. Lol. I realized that my characters are faceless. Different from each other. And like my passwords, they depend on my current mood. Ive got a lot of things to do! But i often forget them! And one of my projects– i only remembered it now! I think i should focus on that. Well anyway, i dont think i could make money out of writing. Because of my fluctuating mood! I used to dream about creating a novel like the fountainhead. Then a powerful love story, or defeating eckhart tolle’s the power of now. ( i call it the power of later) lol. Im a fan of procrastination. Well i still write on my children stories 😂😂 pathetic. Yet i dont give a fuck because i laugh a lot when i read them. Just like my blogs. Lol. Well someday i’d like to see them on videogame or on tv. Well that would be up to me. I dont know if i could make them popular. I just want to see them move. And mind you, there’s no short cut to success. Just like in coc, it took me one yr to get to th9. So maybe ten or 20 years wont hurt. Whats important is, you dont stop working on it. And you dont notice the time. Bcause you are happy when u do it.
dreams
all’s swell that ends swell.
it’s been a while. i never thought that i’d be updating this blog since i was or should be busy. (excuse me for the wrong grammar.. thanks lol) while typing i can feel my right ring finger ache. well, in my last post i told you there’s an upcoming good news. it was the opposite. and i don’t want to tackle about my crush because i am paranoid that someone will find out who am i talking about. even my family doesn’t know about this blog. well no one knows that i have this blog. (hopefully). out of paranoia i removed the link of this blog from my old blog. lol. lololololol. and im not sure if writing here is a good thing. because i intended to review for my upcoming exam. hahahahahaha. maybe i have accepted the fact that i’m going to fail class. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i’ll just have to be prepared for the future. the irony of my blog title. this i-just-can’t-get-enough feeling of wanting to see myself fail again. i know what i want, yet i don’t push myself to the limits. because i don’t want to exhaust myself. i never changed. again, im still the person i knew ten years ago. i know people get tired of hearing me whine and complain—i am going to cut my reklamos muna. LOL. i got excited because Charlie Puth is coming to Manila! hahahahahaha! my mum is a big fan! okay enough of the drama. i live for the moment! and whatever we do in life…we shouldn’t blame it on others. so im going to update this blog soon. i will tell you how it feels to fail. and add another lapse to my ultimate dream. hahahahaha
Holy Week (when the demons’ powers are strongly elavated)
Hiya! Just updating this blog to let you know that I’m still alive. Lol. I kinda have mixed emotions. I used to fear holy week when i was a student. Because i could feel the power of the underworld dominating–inside my mind. Well i have found the remedies to it, actually: just work on holidays. But since im a student again, i am looking forward to an epic battle between me and the devil. Lolololololol. Buuuut, i have my powers now. Physical powers to describe them. Gadgets: phone, nintendo, ps vita, laptop to combat the emptiness and the boredom where the devil likes to lurk. Hahahahahahaha. I dont wanna state all my plans regarding studying because i failed two or more of my IT subjects. Im taking it easy. I dont have plans stressing myself.
And i was quite flattered when i checked my notifications: random strangers liked my posts. Lol. Maybe because they could relate or simply they were bored and laughed a little at my silly posts. Anyways, thanks people. The last time i wrote was about the guy i sort of like. Yeah. Bad news is i still like him. In fact he’s my ideal man. Lol. Sometimes i wonder if it ever occured to him. That some weirdo, talentless underachiever who laughs like its doomsday has a crush on him. 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Hahahahaha. I feel funny. You know im not a teen ager anymore. But to quote from my old blog “it feels like i have won the lottery somehere outside the universe” when he talks to me. Crap. I am just enjoying the feeling. I feel happy and embarrassed at the same time while i am typing these words. Lolololololol. Too bad i haven’t heard a word from him. He’s also not a facebook person so i have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. Lol. Maybe chilling with his family. Im not sure if he’s a catholic. Probably because he came from a catholic school. Lol. Anyways, i have this strange feeling again that something’s gonna happen. Something nice to be exact. Im not expecting anything from my ideal man. Maybe i’ll just finish episode 37 and it would be epic. Epic-sode! Lol i kinda missed writing. I like my story because it relates to me. All of the characters actually relate to me. To describe the first three characters or protagonists: the first one is highly determined because it’s his dream to become an sw. Go figure out what’s an sw. Lol. But he lacks skills and is very behind in his studies. I just realized (though i have written the concept first before i enrolled at uni lol) that were very similar. That’s why i enrolled at this uni to become GD which is my ultimate dream. Hahahahaha! The next character is someone who has talents and abilities but is to lazy to give effort so he doesnt take his course seriously. He’s busy on ther things such as escaping. Hahaha. I relate to his laziness and tactics but i think he’s more talented than me. Lol. The third character is highly motivated because she thinks she will find love at school. Its just soooo me. Motivated to come to school early because of ideal man. 😂😂😂. OMG. Lol. Well for both parties, i think i have more control over my story than my life. Hahahahaha. Or if coincidentally whatever i write on my story will eventually happen in real life, wellthanks man! Hahahaha! I miss IM soooo bad i even pray for him to come into my dreams! Hahahahah! How can he be so blind! I think we could build a strong empire together!!!!! Hahahahaha! Im waiting for my feelings to fade. Because there are certain factors that are pi. Constant i mean. There’s status, well status isnt constant. Okay. Age. Buwahahahahahaha! But i think he’s kainda mature and we have the same likes? And his words— i couldnt believe the sweetest sentence i have ever heard– came from him. My greatest motivations or words of wisdom before i met him well, came from me.. Then from dad then from my bestest best friend. But now, he had no idea he said the words (whether he means it or not) which fueled the flame in my heart enough for me to fight for a lifetime. NAKS! Giataaaaay! I have close friends at school. But they never said that to me. Lol. Anyways because im motivated today i think i will finish episode 37. And i have to thank my ideal man for that. Thank him for reminding me that im on the right track.
You need to write….
Ive been repeating adele’s all i ask. I never intended to write but i guess this is my only outlet to feel better. I have been busy since i started school. And just looking at my saved sites i feel more stressed. Gui, oop, lol. What urged me to write? Well. First of all, thank heavens no one knows this blog. As bad as it may sound, i have to cope with people i don’t like. Yep. No, they didn’t Harm me. Its just (no apostrophes because its late and im dead tired) i dont like them. I tried to appreciate their good side but the feeling is just awkward. I can’t pretend and mask my annoyance in front of the people i dont like. You know the juciest part of my story? Well, i sort of like someone desperately. Yes, i know when i write something i want to happen– it will never happen. I dont know. Well maybe because i already gave up. Okay. So i tried every possible way to be with that person, and i did without being too obvious. But his circle, well…. Theyre The people who annoy me. 😂😂😂. Very funny. Well i guess its better to forget all about it. Maybe the passion i felt for him wasnt enough so i decided to back out. Well honestly there are other options. But my pride said, why not focus on the things you like alone. You dont need to compete, nor pretend. Yet at the back of mind it sounds quite challenging. I already weighed the consequences though. I dont wanna be separated with my lovely friends. Spending time with him will lessen my good times with friends. It would also cost me money. Aaand time. I live far from their location. I feel strange because their concept- is what i have been daydreaming these past few weeks. So i guess ill just have to work alone. Focus on my stories. Play videogames. ALONE. Imagine the stress it caused me? Lots of caffeine and nicotine. So i just have to accept that this plan wouldnt work. And move on. I feel embarrassed. I think God just shook his head again and said, my dear daughter. Youre still inconsistent. Lol. So i guess i will leave it up to him. Anyways theres still one thing im consistent about. My projects. Lol. My videogame/ animation. I just have to be careful about the outside stimuli. I better check if theyre an inspiration or distraction. I feel like im just a high school student. Lol. Well lets see tomorrow. Im not sure if i would write an update. I just hope i dont act… Oops. Satan is waiting. Sorry satan. You wont win this time. Lol. Its now 12:03. Lol. If i didnt wake up early i wont go to school. Btw im not sure if id pass my subjects. Oh dear. Im still the person i knew ten years ago. Whahahahahahahahaahah.
UMPISA
hello, reader! (i am talking to myself, lol) here’s a fact: when i read my blog posts i always think that i’m not the person who wrote the posts so i’m here to remind myself about certain points about this new blog:
1. forget the grammar. as an aspiring writer, grammar is essential. but im not very good in english. i thought living in London will make my english skills better but i was wrong.
2. i’m not organized. that’s why i have high chances of flopping at writing contests, submissions, etc.
3. i prefer writing my thoughts rather than the physical world. (last night i wrote about what happened and felt bored that’s why i just saved it as a draft)
4. my blogs are always full of rants. (false hopes, broken dreams, confusion, longing etc. ) LOL
5. I always have a guest which appears (i didnt use “who” because my guest isnt a person. lol) occasionally on my blogs. it’s name is question man. i secretly liked being interviewed but since no one is interested to ask me questions i would like to hear, question man was born. whahahahahaha
6. i have a london blog. there’s no point in updating it because im not there anymore.
7. i dont post to be heard, impress, make pacute, otherwise this blog is pointless. lololololol. i just love to write!!!!!!! because the conversations with the people around me are not enough.
8. im MEAN. not median or mode . lololololol. i am brutally honest, sarcastic, etc. and the results are: failed social relationships. lololololololol
9. when i cant control my emotions and i want to pour my heart in my blog i write in tagalog. whahahahahahah. mahirap na nga buhay pahihirapan mo pa. easy lang pre.
10. my posts are rated PG. hindi patay gutom. kundi poverty galore. lolololololol
11. i also occasionally mention satan on my blog posts. im not a fan of satan but he’s a fan of mine. lololololol. wag kang matakot kapatid! lahat ng mabubuti ay nilu lure ni satanas, di ako ganon kabuti but how would you explain the negative thoughts and actions in the world? from the human mind? yoko nga. gusto ko positive lang. kaya nga satanas eh. greek word ng opposer. in tagalog oposisyon. whahahahahaha.
12. people call me baliw. and i call them matino.
i could write ten more points but i would like to fast forward to my topic. lolololol. that’s not the reason why its called fastforwardtofuture. in fact, im soo happy with the present i keep on forgetting about the future. lolololololol. ay, may future pala?? and when im in a sulky mode i want the judgement day to come. i just wanted to blog quickly and i think i missed the good things in life.
ok, i was lying. lololol. the real reason behind the title is, when a doctor looked up for my Ba Zi. he said i will become wealthy in my middle age. lololololol. whahahahaha. up to now im still taking it seriously. lol. not really. i just find it funny because it’s somewhat true. but of course i should be starting now. or i should’ve started before. but im not the type of person who plans. i think it really depends on the person. i know some people who had timetables and it worked for them, and i know some who had plans that never turned out well. so in my case id rather not plan seriously except for health purposes. lol. i gave up London life because i had no time to write, and now i lost everything but writing. whahahahahahaha. not really, my family is here. and some of my friends. and by the way. i forgot to mention that i like to talk about myself. A LOT. lol. because no one in this planet understands me. okay maybe there are two or three people that i always pray to be in good health because if they die we will be endangered . lol. so there. so what differentiates me from other species. i will try my best to explain it in English. there’s more to life than life on earth. anu daw? did i just mean there’s life on mars??? lolololololol. nope. we must not forget that even if you reached your whole potential as a human being, remember that we will be judged someday. life isn’t about achievements. its about living a noble life. pano naman ako wala pakong naaachieve na full potential? lolololololol. darating din ako jan. sa 2025. lmao.
fast forward to future 