muse

okay. so my sister found out this blog. before that i was wondering whether i would move to another website or create another blog. and i think that would be better. my followers won’t mind lol. because i like to keep my identity secret. i always feel that nobody is interested in my interests. and i’m actually used to it. lol. i know i am annoying because of the negative vibes i send to readers and listeners. but come on. i was just stating a fact. lololololol. i used my thirty minutes playing with js. because i’ve read in some tutorial site that you coding shouldn’t feel like a stressful work, that’s why i controlled the results. and i realized that the site i’m using is much easier than sitting in a classroom and following the professor’s instructions. LOL. i wish i could turn back the hands of time. HAHAHAHAHAHA. imagine that if else statement shit which i couldn’t grasp before, is now easy. my bad because i didn’t pay attention. okay. i am not rationalizing. i admit that i lack focus. always. and now i have come to realize that when you master some programming languages you kinda have a power to control at least a program. isn’t that lovely? it had occurred to me before. a strange voice inside my head tells me that  “you are going to enjoy this.” “you need this in your life.” lmao. well. okay enough. lololololol.

okay so im feeling hyper because of caffeine. i don’t want to entertain the feeling that there’s some good news ahead. because i don’t want to feel disappointed. this year’s a difficult year for me because it’s my saturn return. lol. so saturn will leave me this august. i could explain what’s the meaning of saturn return without looking at any website accurately, because it is one of my interests. Anyways this post is nonsense. lol.

so the question is, what do i really want to do with my life? code? lmao. let’s just leave it here. what about not saying anything but instead do something. i dont need to broadcast it. this blog is crazy. lol. and by the way. i don’t have a crush on my crush anymore. lol. why? because there are other stars which are brighter than the sun. the more far-fetched, the more beautiful, mysterious, etc. lol.again, i have big dreams, high standards. let’s say today i am a jobless loser. but the tables will turn. because this blog is inspired by the future. i may not be an aquarius, but i have a vision. the stimuli is already around 48 percent for me to become enraged and transform into a determined monster. lol. by wednesday it would probably become 85 percent hahahahahaha. vague. yes. and i like to write because i want to track my progress as a loser. hahahahahahahaha. whahahahahahahahaha. wtf. i am an artist. and i have found my muse.